{"id":12676,"date":"2024-06-12T14:38:01","date_gmt":"2024-06-12T13:38:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.instantsvideo.com\/blog\/?post_type=portfolio&p=12676"},"modified":"2024-08-13T20:18:29","modified_gmt":"2024-08-13T19:18:29","slug":"i-am","status":"publish","type":"portfolio","link":"https:\/\/www.instantsvideo.com\/blog\/video\/i-am\/","title":{"rendered":"I am"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Plusieurs centaines de d\u00e9clarations \u00ab\u00a0Je suis\u00a0\u00bb \u00e9chantillonn\u00e9es dans les articles de BBC World News. Des \u00e9v\u00e8nements se sont produits r\u00e9cemment et ont \u00e9t\u00e9 l’aboutissement d’une vie de douleur. Pour commencer \u00e0 comprendre, \u00e0 accepter et \u00e0 g\u00e9rer tout – pour aller de l’avant avec ma vie – j’ai \u00e9crit une chronologie de toute mon existence. Il contenait mon noyau le plus profond (mon \u00e2me, mon \u00eatre, ma conscience, mon inconscience, mon moi-m\u00eame). C’\u00e9tait mon moi le plus profond, mon moi le plus profond, empli de mes peurs, de mes angoisses, de mes doutes et de mes ins\u00e9curit\u00e9s les plus profonds. C’\u00e9tait mon \u00e2me mise \u00e0 nue. Un nouveau d\u00e9part. Mon enfance et mon adolescence ont eu des cons\u00e9quences durables sur ma perception de moi-m\u00eame. Pourtant, je n’ai jamais parl\u00e9 de mon enfance, m\u00eame pas avec les personnes les plus proches de moi. J’\u00e9tais g\u00ean\u00e9 et honteux. Au lieu de cela, je me suis exprim\u00e9 \u00e0 travers l’art (aussi clich\u00e9 que cette phrase sonne). Mon art – chroniquer les milliardaires, les politiciens, l’industrie du porno, les structures de pouvoir invisibles derri\u00e8re la photographie, etc. – est de d\u00e9tester les gens qui croient avoir le pouvoir. Les gens qui maltraitent d’autres personnes pour leur propre auto-gratification. Les \u00eatres qui ont soif de pouvoir et \u00e9crasent les autres \u00eatres pour se sentir grands. Les gens qui exigent le respect mais ne font rien pour gagner le respect qu’ils commandent. Les hommes qui ressentent l’envie de faire en sorte que les femmes et les enfants se sentent vuln\u00e9rables et petits. C’\u00e9tait mon enfance. Pourtant, au lieu d’y faire face, j’ai couru, je me suis cach\u00e9, je me suis senti seul, effray\u00e9, rejet\u00e9 et mal aim\u00e9. Ce projet est une tentative d’\u00eatre moi. C’est moi qui refuse de me cacher. C’est une question m\u00e9taphysique auto-r\u00e9fl\u00e9chissante \u00e0 laquelle je n’ai pas pu r\u00e9pondre jusqu’\u00e0 r\u00e9cemment – qu’est-ce que c’est que \u00ab\u00a0d’exister\u00a0\u00bb ? C’est une tentative de crier \u00e0 pleins poumons que j’existe – que \u00ab je suis \u00bb. N\u00e9anmoins, je ne veux jamais \u00eatre d\u00e9fini par ma faiblesse per\u00e7ue – mon abus, mon stress post-traumatique, mon angoisse et ma d\u00e9pression. Mon enfance a fait de moi la personne que je suis aujourd’hui, donc je ne changerais pas le pass\u00e9, m\u00eame si je le pouvais. J’existe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Several hundred \u2018I am\u2019 statements sampled from BBC World News articles. A few things recently happened that were the culmination of a lifetime of pain. To begin to understand, accept, and deal with everything\u2014to move on with my life\u2014I wrote a timeline of my entire existence. It contained my deepest Core (my soul, my Being, my consciousness, my unconsciousness, my me-ness). It was my deepest self, my deepest Me, full of my nethermost fears, anxieties, doubts, and insecurities. It was my soul laid bare. A new beginning. My childhood and adolescent years had long-lasting consequences on my perception of self. Yet, I never spoke about my childhood, not even with the people closest to me. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Instead, I expressed myself through art (as clich\u00e9 as this sentence sounds). My art\u2014chronicling billionaires, politicians, the porn industry, the invisible power structures behind photography etc.\u2014is me detesting people who believe they have power. People who abuse other people for their own self-gratification. Beings who crave power and crush other beings to feel big. People who demand respect but do nothing to earn the respect they command. Men who feel the urge to make women and children feel vulnerable and small. This was my childhood. Yet, instead of facing it, I ran, I hid, I felt alone, frightened, rejected, and unloved. This project is an attempt to be me. It is me refusing to hide. It is a self-reflective metaphysical question that I couldn\u2019t answer until recently\u2014what does it feel like \u2018to exist\u2019? It is an attempt to yell at the top of my fucking lungs that I exist\u2014that \u2018I am\u2019. Nonetheless, I never want to be defined by my perceived weakness\u2014my abuse, my post-traumatic stress, my angst, and my depression. My childhood made me the person I am today, so I wouldn\u2019t change the past, even if I could. I exist.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Kailum Graves est un artiste et un archiviste binaire obs\u00e9d\u00e9 par l’objet num\u00e9rique artefactuel. \u00c0 travers des \u0153uvres d’art, de l’\u00e9criture et des projets de conservation, il \u00e9tudie les structures cach\u00e9es et invisibles du pouvoir. Il le fait en contemplant des th\u00e8mes aussi divers que l’in\u00e9galit\u00e9 \u00e9conomique, la nature algorithmique de la photographie num\u00e9rique, le bombardement de l’imagerie m\u00e9diatique, la politique de la peur et la menace de l’alt\u00e9rit\u00e9, le changement des fronti\u00e8res entre les corps et les technologies, la manipulation photographique et sa repr\u00e9sentation de la r\u00e9alit\u00e9, et la culture des c\u00e9l\u00e9brit\u00e9s. Bien que cet int\u00e9r\u00eat d\u00e9coule d’une exp\u00e9rience tr\u00e8s personnelle et soit un moyen pour lui de commencer \u00e0 comprendre, \u00e0 accepter et \u00e0 faire face \u00e0 son propre trouble de stress post-traumatique, \u00e0 son angoisse, \u00e0 son anxi\u00e9t\u00e9 et \u00e0 sa d\u00e9pression, son travail aborde des id\u00e9es, des m\u00e9taphores, des images, des th\u00e8mes, de l’humour (sombre), des sentiments et des symboles qui sont universellement partag\u00e9s (les nuances de l’existence humaine). Kailum s’est sp\u00e9cialis\u00e9 en histoire de l’art et en philosophie de l’Universit\u00e9 du Queensland, o\u00f9 il a obtenu son dipl\u00f4me en 2011 avec une th\u00e8se sp\u00e9cialis\u00e9e ax\u00e9e sur le groupe d’activistes am\u00e9ricain sur Internet The Yes Men, le collectif russe Voina et le groupe international hacktiviste Anonymous comme moyen de discuter de la pratique plus large du brouillage culturel et de remettre en question l’efficacit\u00e9 de l’art politique sous l’h\u00e9g\u00e9monie du capitalisme multinational. Les points forts de la carri\u00e8re comprennent l’exposition \u00e0 la National Portrait Gallery de Canberra ; des expositions internationales au Royaume-Uni, en Italie, en Allemagne, en Gr\u00e8ce, au Mexique, en Suisse, en Chine, au Br\u00e9sil, au Danemark, en Islande, en Russie, au Portugal, en Pologne, en Malaisie, aux \u00c9mirats arabes unis et aux \u00c9tats-Unis ; \u00eatre finaliste dans de nombreux prix d’art internationaux et nationaux ; la participation \u00e0 une conf\u00e9rence internationale \u00e0 Mexico ; les r\u00e9sidences \u00e0 Skagastr\u00f6nd, Berlin, P\u00e9kin et Changsha ; des discours au Critical Animals Creative Research Symposium 2018 ; gagner le premier programme d’\u00e9change d’artistes de r\u00e9sidence de la BigCi et de la Red Gate Gallery ; recevoir une r\u00e9sidence, une commission et une exposition financ\u00e9e \u00e0 PLAN8T ; \u00eatre pr\u00e9sent\u00e9 dans Digital America ; Recevoir un financement du Arts Queensland and Australia Council ; remporter le Clayton Utz Art Award 2016 ; et \u00eatre acquis par la collection permanente de la Toowoomba Regional Art Gallery. Il a \u00e9t\u00e9 le fondateur et le chef totalitaire d’An Evolving Thesis – un site Web cr\u00e9\u00e9 pour enqu\u00eater et d\u00e9battre de l’\u00e9conomie culturelle – et il a \u00e9t\u00e9 le directeur et le dictateur de The Goodwink Conspiracy, un programme de r\u00e9sidence en ligne et une plate-forme curatoriale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kailum Graves is an artist and binary archivist critically obsessed with the artifactual digital object. Through artworks, writing, and curatorial projects he investigates the hidden and invisible structures of power. He does this by contemplating themes as diverse as economic inequality, the algorithmic nature of digital photography, the bombardment of media imagery, the politics of fear and the threat of otherness, the shifting boundaries between bodies and technologies, photographic manipulation and its representation of reality, and celebrity culture. While this interest stems from very personal experience and is a way for him to begin to understand, accept, and deal with his own post-traumatic stress disorder, angst, anxiety, and depression, his work addresses ideas, metaphors, images, themes, (dark) humour, feelings, and symbols which are universally shared (the nuances of human existence). Kailum majored in art history and philosophy at the University of Queensland, graduating in 2011 with an Honours dissertation focused on American Internet-based activist group The Yes Men, Russian collective Voina, and international hacktivist group Anonymous as a way into discussing the wider practice of culture jamming, and to question the efficacy of political art under the hegemony of multinational capitalism. Career highlights include being exhibited at the National Portrait Gallery, Canberra; international exhibitions in the United Kingdom, Italy, Germany, Greece, Mexico, Switzerland, China, Brazil, Denmark, Iceland, Russia, Portugal, Poland, Malaysia, the United Arab Emirates, and the United States; being a finalist in numerous international and national art awards; participation in an international conference in Mexico City; residencies in Skagastr\u00f6nd, Berlin, Beijing, and Changsha; speaking engagements at the 2018 Critical Animals Creative Research Symposium; winning the inaugural BigCi and Red Gate Gallery artist residency exchange program; being awarded a funded residency, commission, and exhibition at PLAN8T; being featured in Digital America; receiving Arts Queensland and Australia Council funding; winning the 2016 Clayton Utz Art Award; and being acquired by the Toowoomba Regional Art Gallery\u2019s permanent collection. He was the founder and totalitarian head honcho of An Evolving Thesis\u2014a website established to investigate and debate the cultural economy\u2014and was the Director and Dictator of The Goodwink Conspiracy, an online residency program and curatorial platform.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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